How I Reply When Feminine Purchasers Use the I Do not Need to Get Cumbersome From Lifting Weights Cliche


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How I Respond When Female Clients Use the I Don't Want to Get Bulky From Lifting Weights Cliche

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I acquired a query lately through my Instagram DM’s and figured it prudent to take a while to jot down a extra thorough response I might share with the plenty right here.

1. I hope it helps and is sensible.

2. Um, why aren’t you following me on IG?

Right here’s the query:

“What is your response to female clients who use the cliche of not wanting to get bulky when training? Any practical scientific routes that you speak about to dispel this myth?”

Copyright: milkos

My Response ??

I gotta be sincere and forthright out of the gate…

…I actually do really feel this sentiment and mind-set is shrinking and changing into much less of a “thing” in 2022. Granted that is simply my N=1 expertise, however since that is my weblog, just about something I say right here must be taken as truth.


  •  Hacks is the funniest present on tv proper now.
  • Baseball gamers can (and may) carry out overhead urgent.
  • I feel my cat desires to kill me.
  • No, actually, I’m not kidding.
  • Why are you taking a look at me like that, Dagny?
  • No, wait, cease. STOP.
  • Ahhhhhhhh.

I joined my first business health club in 1996. I got here house for the summer season after my freshman yr in faculty and was elated to search out out my hometown had out of the blue gotten a bit extra badass and opened up a health club.

(it certain beat having one other pizza store open up)

It was stellar and it served as my “home-base” till I left for New England within the fall of 2005. In these 9 years it was very uncommon to see a girl within the free-weight space lifting weights. I felt it was improbable anytime I noticed it occur, however it was a uncommon occasion.

Akin to me sporting shorts in public.

Anyway, as soon as I moved to New England (and subsequently Boston) I ended up dwelling in a proverbial energy & conditioning bubble the place individuals of all sizes and shapes (in addition to non-Y chromosome havers) carried out full-rom pull-ups, had been extra inclined to squat on Monday than bench press, and salivated when it was deadlift day.

Young woman power lifting training indoor gym alone

And that’s the place I lived till this previous Fall after I joined my first business health club since 2005. I’ve been coaching there for the previous a number of months and it’s evening and day when it comes to the final vibe.

On a regular basis I see varied ladies squatting, deadlifting, thrusting, and lifting considerable weight. It’s superior and I really like that the mentality and angle towards energy coaching has shifted to replicate a stark distinction in comparison with a technology prior.

That stated, it’s not misplaced on me that the stigma of “lifting weights will make me bulky” nonetheless stings in immediately’s society and that it festers within the psyche of some ladies nonetheless.

The easiest way I can reply this query is in two elements:

1. What to NOT say and do.

2. The other of that.

What to NOT Say and Do

The query despatched to me requested if I've a “practical scientific route” I take when this situation comes up. I do (or I ought to say did), however it hardly ever (if ever) works.

If I’m sincere, early in my profession I took this strategy and it makes me cringe to consider it. If a brand new feminine shopper introduced up her considerations about placing on an excessive amount of muscle it took quite a lot of will energy on my finish to not have my eyes roll out of their sockets.

After which I’d get all “mansplainy” and wax poetic about hormone profiles and the way ladies have waaay much less testosterone than males and that it’s actually laborious to placed on muscle.

I’d say one thing snide like:

“It’s hard to put on muscle. 100% of guys wish they could add muscle as fast as many women “think” is feasible.”

Then, to high it off, like an a-hole I’d proceed…

“You won’t turn into He-Man in a week. Or a month, or a year for that matter.”

Like I stated, I cringe after I take into consideration how I used to deal with this form of dialog. I’m prepared to wager I misplaced extra potential (feminine) purchasers then gained taking this strategy.

Right here’s What I Now Do As an alternative

At this level in my profession I are inclined to get quite a lot of self-selected clientele. Which means, by the point somebody walks by way of the entrance door the day of their preliminary evaluation or session, they’re already completely conscious of what they’re getting themselves into.

They’ve both learn quite a lot of what I've written and know my basic strategy to coaching or they appear up on the signal above the door and skim my tagline…


Nonetheless, whereas I nonetheless wish to endorse some stage of training on the subject of ladies and energy coaching, I’ve since rescinded my world strategy to a big diploma.

I nonetheless play satan’s advocate at occasions and can say one thing like “saying you’re going to get big & bulky from strength training is like me saying I’m going to win a gold medal in the Olympics because I went out and did some sprints yesterday.”

(after which I hold my fingers crossed that there’s nothing however crickets chirping afterward).

As an alternative of happening and on about ladies’s restricted testosterone ranges, how firming isn’t an actual time period (considered one of my largest pet peeves health skilled do), or how they’ll by no means attain the outcomes of elite feminine bodybuilders, yada yada yada…I dig deeper, and ask extra questions:

  • “Why do you feel strength training will make you big and bulky?”
  • What does cumbersome imply to you? What does it appear like?
  • “Is that this one thing that occurred previously?
  • “What exercise(s) in particular do you feel cause this?”

Perhaps their perspective tasks that of a coach they labored with beforehand. Perhaps they by no means took the time to study nor the place they proven correct approach. Or, I don’t know, perhaps they've a tough time letting go of sure myths and suppose the Abominable Snowman exists.

Both approach…

Generally it’s extra useful to take a while to peel again the onion and to establish somebody’s root trigger for pondering they approach they do, quite than chastise them out of the gate for the only real function of proving them flawed.

I've discovered that this strategy has been a much more efficacious approach of dealing with issues and has helped me construct way more highly effective and lasting relationships with my feminine purchasers.

And never for nothing: After just a few weeks of consistency I discover the change flips anyway. As soon as the foreignness and stigma of the barbell is now not part of the story – and we start to construct & improve autonomy and competency – I discover most of my feminine purchasers start to attempt to be extra (including muscle is cool!) quite than desirous to be much less.

Did what you simply learn make your day? Smash it? Both approach, it is best to share it with your mates and/or remark beneath.

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